Leverhulme goes to Scotland and brings us news about Wee Eck ... The brawling MP for Falkirk ... The life and good works of Dame Elish Angiolini, former Scottish Lord Advocate ... Plus, who's putting the kettle on for Rupert?
Bernard: his mother and Rupert Murdoch had similar feelings about pollies
Jeffrey Bernard, the legendary Spectator columnist and racing enthusiast who was described as an "object lesson in dissolution," had a formidable mother.
He referred to her unkindly as his dam and said she was, "by an itinerant pork butcher out of a gypsy".
She came to mind last week as Rupert Murdoch fronted what seem to be hordes of unemployed people sitting behind Robert Jay QC at the Leveson Inquiry.
Bernard's mother was hauled before the bench one day and spoke rudely to the Magistrates. The chairman said, "We hold you in contempt of court."
Her reply was special: "Make that utter contempt."
It seems that Rupe has similar feelings for politicians, although lawyers are not far behind.
In a wonderful moment, he fairly spat at Jay, who looks and acts like a fifth form maths teacher.
The window which had opened briefly on the real Rupert Murdoch quickly slammed shut and he said: "I take that back."
Without naming him, Murdoch accused his own lawyer, Tom Crone of organising a cover-up.
However, it's what the Murdochs have done to David Cameron that is really stark.
By releasing the emails, albeit on the commission's orders, to and from Jeremy Hunt's off-sider, they've given Cameron's integrity a massive skewering.
What would have been written if, say, a chief justice had asked a judge to hear a case knowing the judge had expressed the view publicly that the defendant had done great things for the community and we would all be the poorer if he went to prison?
What would have been the reaction if two days later the chief had been the Christmas dinner guest of the criminal's employees?
How would it have been received if it turned out the judge's associate had been writing reassuring letters to the crook's adviser?
And how would it have been seen if chief then backed the beak?
Cameron doesn't want to order an inquiry into whether Hunt broke the ministerial code. He said Leveson will do the trick.
"What we have is a judge-led inquiry, witnesses required to give evidence on oath, full access to papers and records, cross-examination by barristers, all live on television.
"There is nothing this tough or this rigorous the civil service or the independent adviser could provide."
Cripes, they must be pussies.
The other interesting thing is that the concept of ministerial responsibility no longer exists. The special advisers get it in the neck now, which could be a problem because that particular nursery is from where we get all our politicians.
The organs of our community have taken quite a battering over the past few years.
First, it was the pollies and their expenses; then it was the bankers and their investments; then it was the rod wallopers and their lunches and now it is the hacks.
All have been engaged in acts of flagrant thieving.
Who could be next? Surely not lawyers?
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Wee Eck: still putting the kettle on for Rupert
Murdoch was in the news in Scotland too because First Minister Alex Salmond was a fan.
But, Wee Eck, as he is known, now says he's learned his lesson.
In the same week, Salmond was thumped for getting too close to two rich men: one was Murdoch and the other was the Walking Wig, Donald Trump.
Well, apparently, it's not a Moreton after all.
Don was upset because he's building a golf course in Scotland and the First Minister had assured him there would be no off-shore wind farms.
Opposition leader Johann Lamont (a woman) said Eck still puts the kettle on for Rupert.
They play their politics pretty hard in Caledonia.
Falkirk MP Eric Joyce, who was in the news after a bit of drunken biffo in the House of Commons Strangers bar, boasted to the Mail on Sunday that he had been in over 100 fights and stolen a few cars for good measure.
His analysis was masterly:
"You want to be a bit careful. If you punch them on the cheekbone or forehead, you're more likely to break your fingers ... You aim for the bridge of the nose. Then hit them. Just a couple of times."
Perhaps before going into politics, Joycey should have been a special adviser rather than an Army Major and car thief.
* * *
Dame Elish Angiolini: reported on women doing porridge in Scotland
Former Lord Advocate Dame Elish Angiolini is often in the news in Scotland.
She has just handed down a report into women offenders and called upon the government to close down Cornton Vale prison. She provided her services without fee.
Quite sensibly, Angiolini said the significant cost to society of locking-up women suffering from addiction or mental health problems could no longer be ignored. Often these women were themselves victims of crime.
Obviously, she said, the dangerous offenders should be locked up for a long time to protect the community.
But, she questioned the efficacy of short-term sentences and said they were not working.
Her findings were supported by many informed people and a similar view was advanced by the Chief Inspector of Prisons, Brigadier Hugh Monro.
At the recent Scottish Press Awards, Angiolini called for the tougher regulation of cyber-bullies and internet nutters. She has been threatened herself and still suffers crazy abuse online.
She comes from an Irish background and married into one of Glasgow's many Italian families. She was brought up in the very poor area of Govan where her father carted coal.
In July 1984, Angiolini was seriously injured in the Polmont train disaster when a Glasgow to Edinburgh train hit a cow.
Thirteen people, including the men sitting next to and opposite her, lost their lives.
She was the first solicitor to be appointed Solicitor General.
After 5\five years, she was promoted to Lord Advocate on the recommendation of the Labour First Minister Jack McConnell and a majority of the Scottish Parliament.
It was a significant appointment in several ways. It was not political: she was a career prosecutor; she was the first solicitor to be Lord Advocate and the first woman.
It didn't go down well with the crusty old boys.
She was re-appointed when the Scottish nationals won power.
Although unelected, one of her duties was to appear before parliament and face political criticism.
Ian Hamilton QC, a stalwart of the Scottish Faculty of Advocates (the bar) got the hump when heard she had been made a barrister. He asked, as something of a non-sequitur:
"Apart from the Roman Emperor Caligula making his horse a Senator of Rome, is there any precedent for such an admission to the Faculty of Advocates?"
It was another case of men referring to women in equine terms.
Hamilton said that Angiolini had not done the compulsory nine months of devilling. This was despite her 28 years as a prosecutor and appearances in some of the most complex cases, including in the Supreme Court.
But to Hamilton it was a breach of the rules.
Devilling is the valuable system whereby young pupils watch older barristers and learn how not to do it.
However, unbeknown to Hamilton, Angiolini had been a member of the faculty for three years.
Hamilton (check him out on the Beeb) has an acute sense of justice. As a young man he and some pals stole (in England) recovered (in Scotland) the Stone of Scone from Westminster Abbey.
Last year Elish Angiolini gave away the hurly-burly to concentrate on work at the bar. In November, she was made a Dame by the Queen for services to the administration of justice.
In person, she's often laughing and she tells unvarnished stories against herself.
Strangers, who have seen her on telly approach her in the street and say, "Well done you," in that Glaswegian way.
She's largely getting out of the law and has recently been appointed the principal of St Hugh's College, Oxford, an appropriate place for female achievers.
And she's still leading a pioneering LLM in Advocacy at the University of Strathclyde, which starts in October.
Throughout her distinguished career and the bouts of blatant sexism and snobbery, every day has counted for Elish Angiolini.
As Margaret Whitlam once said, we must admire an undaunted woman.