How not to shaft masters of the universe ... Massaging the message - the art of the media release ... "We've got wood" ... What's wrong with the name "King & Wood Mallesons"?
King O'Malley: either I'm in charge, or I'm not (pic. AFR)
LAST week's brouhaha at King & Wood Mallesons provided an interesting insight into the way giant law shops handle crises and the manner in which the reptiles of the press scramble to report them.
Local panjandrums Tony O'Malley and Tim Blue decamped from the Chinese law shop before replacements had been secured.
This involved blood on the parquetry, leaving il-globo Stuart Fuller the strong man of the outfit.
What it did reveal was that even masters of the universe are vulnerable after a round of head-butting.
In the middle of last week, as explanations were being sought, Fuller said said it was "in his and the best interests of the firm" for O'Malley to quit as national managing partner.
Gee, thanks. In so many words he was saying the firm is better off without him.
Anyway, the more finessed press release arrived on Friday (May 24) announcing Sue Kench as the new King O'Malley.
Sure enough, we located our favourite expression: "moving forward". In a melange of PR babble, Sue said:
"My immediate priority will be to reach out to the firm's major clients and to our people to listen to them and better understand how we can enrich the client experience moving forward.
I will then focus on driving the implementation of firm's client promise with speed and intensity to deliver great value."
Kench: reaching outA press release is invariably a concoction by a committee, choked with hyperbole and notable as much for what it doesn't say as for what it says.
All the main players had a bite of the action, creating the effect of a swelling fugue.
Chairman Stephen Minns: "We are thrilled to confirm Sue's appointment."
Il-globo Fuller: "I am delighted with the board's decision ... Sue is widely regarded as one of the best lawyers not only in Australia, but across Asia."
Kench: "I am deeply honoured by the opportunity to lead KWM's Australian practice."
As expected, The Austalian's deadly dull legal affairs pages mostly stuck to the the script of the press release and threw in some other bits of well-ventilated information.
It took the Australian Financial Review's Alex Boxwell to actually crack some interviews with the walking wounded.
O'Malley told him that the new "market driven" remuneration scheme that replaced lock-step caused internal problems
There were also "philosophical differences" with Fuller taking a bigger role in the integration process.
"He wanted to go harder and faster around some particular adjustments in the practice … than I thought were necessary and ultimately I said that either I'm in charge or I'm not.
And it seemed to me that I wasn't going to be, so on a point of principle, I couldn't continue in the role. It was as simple as that."
I.E: Fuller was trying to run the shop from Hong Kong.
Blue was also concerned at the pace proposed by Fuller:
"I am the kind of partner who likes to be very analytical and thoughtful in my approach and, I guess, defensive of my teams and their performance. And at times that can create a bit of tension."
I.E: Fuller was critical of teams for not minting money fast enough.
Fuller brush (pic. AFR)
For what's it's worth we've been testing the name "King & Wood Mallesons" and it doesn't syncopate. It's a clunky concoction and if people can't relate to the name they invariably feel disconnected.
"King" and "Wood" are jarring as a combination of words. We know it's a made-up name, so it took some skill to join two words that don't fuse naturally.
The word "wood" is frequently used in the porn movie industry, as in "We've got wood".
It would be slightly better if the ampersand was between the second and third parts of the name.
Mallesons King & Wood works slightly better, although Mallesons on its own has a richer, more lubricated feel. It would also be easier for people on the switch-board.
* * *
The announcement from the KWM PR department didn't mention another layer of despair.
Redundancies were handed out at the firm just over a week ago for people failing to meet their billing requirements.
It's not just the M & A people under budget, the problem goes deeper.
The outlook also is grim for newly minted law graduates.
Allens Linklaters told the Australian Financial Review one of the ways it was managing outgoings was by reducing graduate intakes over the past couple of years.
In the Legal Graduate Employment and Summer Clerkship Guidelines, published by the Law Society NSW, only seven out of 36 firms are hiring graduates for 2014.
Not one top tier firm is hiring graduates at the moment, but 31 firms are taking summer clerks for 2013-14.
If last year’s intakes are anything to go by, it isn't much of a consolation for upcoming law grads.
It's rumoured that Ashurst offered graduate positions to less than half of their 2012-2013 summer clerks.
The AFR also reported that Clayton Utz offered financial incentives to encourage their Sydney and Melbourne offices to delay their start until 2014.
* * *
Things are also dire in the Dart.
Reports from legalweek.com say that nearly half of the UK's largest firms by revenue have announced job cuts over the past year.
The number of jobs placed under threat of redundancy since May last year is approaching 1,500.
As from the start of the 2012-2013 year 750 positions have been lopped.
In May this year alone five firms have announced plans for retrenchments, with another 300 jobs to go.
Wragge & Co and Berwin, Leighton Paisner have been mentioned in this context.
Among the majors to get out the secateurs are Herbert Smith, Slaughter and May, DLA Piper and Eversheds.
Lawyer Michael Chissick, from Field Fisher Waterhouse was quoted as saying:
"The worst isn't over. The legal sector continues to be oversupplied and there is insufficient demand in some areas coupled with many firms continuing to struggle with creating the profits they aspire to."
Ouch.
Reporting with Alix Piatek