Deaf ears
Wednesday, October 12, 2022
Justinian in Barely Legal, Law students, University of Sydney

Horse guard for Sydney law students at annual knees-up ... Attempt to revive fond memories of the Malcolm Turnbull protest ... Dub-dub remix at White Bay ... Barely Legal reports 

The Sydney University Law Society's 'regency-themed' faculty ball kicked off last weekend at the White Bay international cruise terminal. 

Guests arrived en masse by Uber, private school alumni chauffeured in tuxedos and gowns direct from the north shore to the Rozelle docks. 

Stepping onto the red carpet where obliging waitstaff handed out flutes of champers, arrivals were greeted by a horse drawn carriage, a cold and (rightly) morose driver adding to the living decoration. 

The horses bucked and huffed as they were assailed by plastered paralegals posing for selfies. While they appeared to be treated well enough, a reasonable argument may be made that their subjection to USyd law students falls within the purview of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act

One would normally attribute such a display to the inherent tastelessness of Law Society executive members, but on reflection the horses may have been positioned as a convenient alibi in case copious amounts of ketamine were discovered on premises. 

Alibis at the ready

What is there to report of the night? Unsurprisingly for a law function, the line for self-portraits far outstripped that for the bar. 

SULS President Ben Hines made a middling attempt at humour, walking on stage with a megaphone as a reminder of last month's Malcolm Turnbull protest ("bourgeois scum off campus"). 

The joke fell on deaf ears - the gaggle of students at which the joke was aimed boycotted the event in some sort of principled stance against the Turnbull-enabling SULS. 

The direst of DJs felt compelled to drown out any possibility of conversation with a never ending procession of dubstep remixes. Although, for many, this may have been a blessing. 

Carnage ensued, discarded heels led to a bloodbath on the dance floor, dropped champagne flutes sticking into soft flesh, cries for help drowned out by 'Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (Dubstep Remix)'. 

An Irish goodbye was the best option. 

Horizontal rain lashed the city on the way home. It might be the wettest year on record, but law students remain as dry as ever. 

All dressed-up ... nowhere to go 

Article originally appeared on Justinian: Australian legal magazine. News on lawyers and the law (https://justinian.com.au/).
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