Behold the law firm management visionary ... "Client balance" and cross-selling to Big Bugger ... The $2 million plan ... Ugly possibilities lurk ... Dorothy blogs from within the partnership

Ivan has a vision. Ivan has lots of visions. He can see how we partners should be, how our practices should look, and how if we only changed ourselves in the way he describes, we would be so much better. 

He likes to share the vision. In fact, having a vision and then sharing it is Ivan's vision of Ivan's job.

Ivan is a partner, technically equal to me, but actually more equal, because he is in middle management. He does no actual chargeable work, but earns more than most partners.

For example, as happened today, Ivan will call a meeting, out of the blue, apropos of something I know nothing about, to ask me what I am going to do about it.

A meeting maker bounced into my inbox in the optimistic way meeting makers have.

Alluringly, the meeting was called "Opportunities with [an enormous company I have of course heard of but have never done any work for - let's call it ...] Big Bugger Ltd".

I clicked on the invitees to ascertain what other lucky folk had been invited.

There were only two: Todd, the marketing operative, new, 30 and irritatingly enthusiastic with a plethora of ideas for us to "action"; and George, who runs an obscure but apparently successful pocket of expertise in the bowels of level 45.

I know George slightly. He is a pleasant, mild-mannered chap of Greek extraction who keeps a low profile, but makes a rather significant contribution to the partnership pie.

I rang George. "What is this all about?" I asked.

He groaned. "No idea."

"Have you done any work for Big Bugger?"

"Oh a bit. Just finished a matter actually."

Cross-selling is a phrase Ivan read last month in Law Manager's Monthly, and has vomited out copiously in partners meetings in the weeks since. I shared that with George.

"Oh fuck me," said George, in his fruity way. "We only got the matter because [competitor] had a conflict and could not act." 

He groaned again, and hung up.

The meeting opened with the vision, how Ivan arrived at it, and how I would have arrived at it if only I had been doing my job properly. 

Ivan usually does this with the help of "the numbers". 

"What," he asked "is your client balance?"

Client balance is a term Ivan devised himself, with help from some concepts he read in Law Manager's Monthly, which means ...

Actually I am not sure what it means, but the core idea is that we should have more clients.

He produced a piece of paper, which he held in his long fingers so that I could not see the content.

Todd seemed to have a copy of it. All I could see was that it had numbers on it.

If I asked what it was, Ivan would have said, with surprise, that it is a report available to me on the accounting system and asked why I did not memorise it or bring it to the meeting.

I knew from previous experience that sarcasm or aggression are pointless responses, as Ivan, like a 15-year old boy with aspirations to join the first 11, responds to any negative stimuli by reacting with a thumping: a figurative thumping; figuratively violent.

It was time to arm myself with my Ivan adoration persona.

"I have been thinking that client balance is an area I need to work on," I said. "I was looking for an opportunity to expand on it."

Ivan put the piece of paper down and said to me, "You should focus on getting Big Bugger's work. There is a great opportunity there".

"Excellent idea," I said, and waited. George stared at his pad. Todd looked keen, pen poised to make a note.

"George," said Ivan. "How will we cross-sell Dorothy's expertise to Big Bugger?"

"I can arrange a meeting with the corporate counsel," said George, with hope in his tone.

"That's a good start," says Ivan. "But we need a plan. We need a plan to have revenue from Big Bugger at $2 million by 2011-12 financial year."

George swallowed. Todd made a note.

Three things are possible if the plan is not achieved.

If we can make it look like a stupid idea, or Ivan's fault, it will never be mentioned again. But if Ivan pursues it, the remaining two possibilities are ugly, very ugly: a drop in equity level (a.k.a. pay and importance within the partnership) or a "restructure".

This means restructure of the partnership so that it is strangely lacking in, um, you.

Does Ivan have that power? Not if you read the terms of partnership. 

Strangely, Ivan, like the others in middle management, are not mentioned in the terms of partnership. But, like Robespierre, they have this enormous omnipresent power, which they seem to be free to wield malevolently and be paid handsomely for it (did I mention that?).

The outcome of the meeting is that George and I must draft-up a plan, describing how we will get $2 million of Big Bugger's work by June 2012.

"Todd," I said as we stepped into the lift. "Could you have a draft on my desk by the end of the week?"

Todd turned red. "Um" is all he had the chance to say before the lift stopped at my floor. "Thanks Todd. Give me a call if you have any problems."

Dorothy