Wither Great Britain

Scotland on the edge ... Even if the "Yes" campaign loses, Alex Salmond will be given more powers by the wimps at Westminster ... Leverhulme surveys the referendum campaign ... And meets someone who Fights Like a Girl 

The smell of panic

THE panic was so palpable this week you could almost smell the haggis.

David Cameron, Ed Miliband and Nick Clegg, the three most prominent politicians at Westminster, bailed out of Prime Minister's Questions and headed for the hills. Well, the highlands to be exact.

Gordon Brown proposed a sell-out of extra powers for the Scots if they voted "No." Cameron's office, leading from behind, said it supported Dr Brown's ideas.

The shock came when a couple of opinion polls put the "Yes" campaign ahead in the Scottish referendum for the first time. For many months, the "Ayes" had toiled over 20 points behind.

Voting is not compulsory, but there are strict rules as to who can register to vote:

• British citizens resident in Scotland.
• Qualifying Commonwealth citizens resident in Scotland. This means Commonwealth citizens who either have leave to remain in the UK or do not require such leave, and are resident in Scotland.
• Citizens of the Republic of Ireland and other EU countries resident in Scotland.
• Members of the House of Lords resident in Scotland.
• Service/Crown personnel serving in the UK or overseas in the Armed Forces or with Her Majesty's government who are registered to vote in Scotland.

Crucially, the canny First Minister, Alex Salmond, included starry-eyed 16 and 17 year olds. We all know how our idealism fades when we start paying the mortgage. In addition, Poles and Romanians who live in Scotland can vote but Scots who reside in England cannot. 

Dame Edna: analysis of European migration

As Dame Edna said, Poland is the Marie Celeste of Europe because they are all over here. The Poles work harder than the average "To and From" and for less money. I pause to ask you to recognise my acute sense of diversity awareness.

In the early days, David Cameron was either too nervous or too complacent to venture north. The Tories are despised in Caledonia. A lot of it is Margaret Thatcher's legacy and her closing down of heavy industries such as ship-building. 

Wee 'Eck: enrolled the 16 year olds for independence vote

But Cameron refused to debate Salmond. The assumption is the old political saw about never giving a sucker an even break. That was seen by most Scots as more evidence of English arrogance.

The English lined-up business leaders and bankers to warn the Scots that they wouldn't be able to keep the pound if they left home. That sounded like a threat and was seen as such.

This has been a 307 year old marriage. But back in the days of Edward Longshanks, the English favoured wholesale slaughter of the Scots.

The last line of the Scottish anthem always makes me smile. Referring to Edward II, they sing how they fought for hill and glen and sent him homeward, "Tae think again." Unusually decent of them but I suppose, "Let's kill the English bastard" neither scans nor rhymes. 

Wee 'Eck took on the former Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling, a decent enough cove, though slightly dull. Darling won the first debate and then Salmond squared the series. 

Edward 1: favoured slaughtering the Scots

The latter stoush was deplored by the soft southerners. One writer to The Telegraph described it as a loud argument between two Scottish men, which would have been better taking place in a Glasgow Bar. By Australian standards, it was handbags at dawn.

The people on the street are loath to express their opinions. Many fear for their jobs. Others are just pompous. One smarmy young lawyer I spoke to told me it was impertinent to ask how he would vote.  A Glaswegian cabbie said he was voting "No" because he didn't want to see Alex Salmond's "wee fat face on the currency". 

What are the consequences if Scotland secedes?

Well, the Labour Party will lose over 41 Westminster MPs which will put the kibosh on Red Ed's chances of a long-term majority. That's why he threatened last week to install border guards.

The Lib Dems have 11 seats; the Scottish National Party has six MPs and the poor old Tories have one.

There is a general election here next year and Salmond is aiming for March 24, 2016 for Independence Day. So presumably the MPs would have to go by then.

The Union Jack would lose the blue and white bits which is called the saltire. Would there be a knock-on for the Aussie flag?

Salmond is a 59-year-old shrewdie and his wife Moira is 76. He knows if that even if he fails, he will win extra powers from the wimps of Westminster. If he loses narrowly, he will come back for another vote. There is a 16 year old born every day.

But will he be like Ulysses in a few years' time? 

"Matched with an aged wife, I mete and dole unequal laws unto a savage race that hoard and sleep and feed and know not me." 

Whatever happens, Referendum Day will be enthralling. 

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Danaher: fight classes for women lawyersNEVER take anyone at face value.

Maria Greco Danaher was in Belfast to teach advocacy a couple of weeks ago. She is a Pittsburgh employment lawyer with a national reputation in the States. 

She is five feet one inch (155 cm) tall and the sweet grandmother of five adored children. She is also a fourth degree black belt in the Korean martial art of Tang Soo Do.

Maria ran a very well-attended class in self-defence class for Belfast's women lawyers called Fight Like a Girl.  

Maria would go over very well in Australia.