Can I Kiss You?
Thursday, September 10, 2020 A scholar specialising in comedies from the Restoration and post-Restoration period has unearthed a hitherto unpublished work by a little-known writer of the period, Lady Georgina Brandis ... The title, "Can I Kiss You?" is drawn from indiscreet goings on in the royal court at the time ... Any resemblance to recent events, or persons living or dead, is purely coincidental
Can I Kiss You?
A Comedy of Manners in Five Heinous Acts
[Oxford University, night, Sir Dicey Hyd'em's rooms. The Great Professor of Law is seated at his desk, legs splayed, codpiece in hand. Annabelle, a young student enters].
ANNABELLE: It's late, Sir Dicey, but I came nonetheless.
SDH: [Aside] If only, if only ...
[To Annabelle] Ah, dear, sweet Annabelle, the mere sight of you ... your buxom brain, your luscious mind, your intelligent posterior ... it's enough to arouse this brilliant old legal mind from its slippery sheath.
How wonderful to be peachy and creamy and young! Come, sit near, and tell me your troubles, dear, sweet girl.
ANNABELLE: Well, I did want to raise a rather vexed question in relation to liability in equity, that you yourself, Sir Dicey, alluded to in your address this evening.
SDH: [Impatiently] Yes, yes, equity, schmeckwity ... what I'd really like to know is what size brassiere you're wearing. And what you think of my codpiece.
But before we get down to that "black letter" detail, can I offer you a sparkling potion, dear girl?
I just happen to have a bottle of Dom and two expertly chilled Georgian flutes at hand.
ANNABELLE: If you insist, Sir Dicey, but I really don't drink, and I would actually prefer to hear your thoughts on the restraint of trade and property trusts.
SDH: Ah, yes, yes, restraint, restraint, trust, trust, thrust, thrust ... forgive me, dear Annabelle, my mind is wandering ...
ANNABELLE: And so are your hands, Sir Dicey! Please, please, Sir, unhand me. Unhand me at once!
[To be continued ...]
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