The readers' curse

Bar readers don't have any reading ... Promising careers blighted by large numbers of settlements or adjournments ... No real work, just fiddling on Facebook ... Junior Junior reports on tardiness by Leatherface  

Every reader I know has been hit by the Readers' Curse in their first six months.

The curse is a guarantee that as soon as a reader goes to watch a civil or criminal case, it will be adjourned or settled.

Knowing that you need 10 days of civil practice and 10 days of criminal practice in those five measly months after finishing the bar course means, that along with every other reader, I'm off and running in week one. 

We have these grand ideas that we'll bowl over the reading requirements in the first month or two and then we can get on with our "real" work.

Each little reader asks around chambers to find who has a case on.

Once a suitable court matter and a barrister actually willing to let me hang around can be located, I book out the day and follow along, secretly hoping to score a free lunch into the bargain.

Then the Readers' Curse hits.

Each party, despite wishing evil and pox upon their opponent the day before, is suddenly hit with enormous empathy for their former enemy and decide to settle the matter amicably.

Bastards!

I trudge back to chambers and play on Facebook for the rest of the day, having no work and, worse still, not having done any reading. 

Criminal reading has been the hardest to pin down. I arrive on the last day of my six month period and have one day of criminal reading left. 

There is no adjournment in sight and I am confident that this matter is untouchable by the Readers' Curse.

I'm watching the defence on a murder case. Leatherface is the senior for the defence and he rises on his haunches and begins with the horrid words, "Your Honour, I'm afraid something has come up and we will be needing an adjournment." 

I could have throttled him right where he stood.

"Your Honour," he continued, "you will recall there were issues raised last week with regards to a crucial defence witness who we obtained orders for a short service subpoena. We have been advised today that she hasn't yet been served as she cannot be located and so we require further time to locate her." 

His Honour, Justice Eminently Sensible, gives Leatherface the judicial stare of death.

Everyone knew for the last six months that this witness was crucial and only last week decided they better actually check out where she was and if she was happy to come along. 

This is the latest in a set of tactics designed to get the case adjourned.

Leatherface sits down after 15 minutes or so.

The Crown hops to his feet. He makes all the usual arguments about why this was not done before, etc. Good arguments. The adjournment application cannot succeed.

Justice Eminently Sensible then enters upon a lengthy admonishment of Leatherface and his instructing solicitor over their tardiness.

He is not satisfied the witness is indispensable. He is frankly suspicious of the defence's motives behind the application. He describes the application to adjourn as the "most unmeritorious application" he has ever heard. 

I am home free.

But the Readers' Curse is strong. After all his grandstanding, the bloody judge grants the adjournment in the interests of justice and a fair trial!

The curse strikes again.

Since it is only 10:45 there will also be no free lunch.

Lesson to readers: Always bring lunch money.

Lesson to senior barristers: To guarantee success in an impossible adjournment application or settlement, bring a reader. 

Junior Junior