The bold and the bashful

Unveiling Unrobed ... New baby barrister blogs for Justinian ... Fresh faced shockers ... Diamond sugar daddy on the prowl 

THERE'S a new Junior Junior at the bar - sounding like the voice inside your head, looking like the baby-barrister standing behind you in the lift, tasting like chicken, and smelling like team spirit. Here we are - unrobed. 

It's a peculiar place, the bar. I'm getting to know more of its characters as the weeks roll on and some of them are, shall we say, unconventional.

There are some gems from the recent bar practice curse (BPC). During an application before a Federal Court judge, one fresh face sought to tender a Google map. The judge took the piece of paper in his hand and declared, "I've marked it MFI". 

The baby-b looked puzzled, then she blushed and sat down bumbling, "court please". The judge looked at her expectantly before deciding to call the next matter. 

Afterwards, I heard baby-b relaying her "shocker" to the group coming out of the court next door: 

"I tried to tender it by consent and he wouldn't let me, he didn't explain why, even though I was prepared to argue the Evidence Act ... he said that he was writing NFI on it. He thinks I've got no fucking idea."

Then there was the ballsy-baby-b who was spotted, at the same time that a morning class on mediation was scheduled, on the last day of the second-last week of the BPC - which is defined as four weeks of full-time learn and strictly no earn. There was ballsy sitting in court. The High Court. At the bar table. Robed. Making submissions to the judges! 

But, it's the older characters, doing life at the bar, that I follow around long corridors. The ones that are so set in their ways, so fluent in barrister legalese they can translate decades of experience into competent advice without even thinking - except when their "research assistant" has taken ill and they have to consider their options.

They are so self-assured of their reputation that it not only precedes them, it co-creates its own television series.

One of the more wrinkly lifers has been immortalised in the winning portrait of the Archibald prize. He's certainly more bold than bald. Indeed, this Archie's an "other-worldly-type character" according to the artist, Nigel Milsom. Not the words my friend has used to describe him, but then not everyone's been propositioned for a this worldly-type threesome.

My friend, let's call her Betty, had heard about a website that connects "sugar daddies" with "sugar babies". She tells me this website has had huge success in the US of A, targeting college students who want financial support, and apparently there are over 100 sugar babies at Sydney Uni. 

Needy sugarbabies

Betty decided to create a profile to see what it was all about. When she logged back in the following day, she had 22 messages in her inbox, three of which were from a particular "diamond sugar daddy"  - who also doubles as our bold Archie. 

His profile divulged what he was seeking:

"Female sugar baby, monthly budget is $5,000 - $10,000, occasional dining and movies and hanging out. Social events and launches openings closings and in between." 

It probably goes without saying that the messages she received didn't beat about the bush. I'll let him do the talking: 

"I am law, you are in trouble ... I have a friend cat who likes to prowl with me, she 24 cute and very loving, I would like to ask you to join our relationship as a muse, I mentor, you tormentor, in some way it might work, Google image me for shocking photos, but better in person, especially with cat ... we need a muse to amuse and not abuse but use, and assist in her quest to be best." 

I won't tell you what Betty did next. Suffice it to say she's just another character at the bar.